barriersdown

When someone would tell me something about me that they didn’t like or thought I should change or when they try to stick me with a past version of me that no longer applies, even if it was 10 seconds ago, I used to weigh and measure it to find out where they were right. That meant that I had to go into their world, give me up in order to fit what they saw me as. Not fun. Now I notice that although people may still try to tell me where I am not expansive enough or where I might be doing something they aren’t appreciating, instead of immediately going to where they are right and where I need to change, I have started to just expand out my energy. Instead of putting my barriers up and making my world really teeny tiny, which is what I used to do, I am consciously staying present and vulnerable, consciously choosing barriers down. I am not always very good at it, however, it is something I am choosing to be more aware of.

Are there things that I do that I am unaware of that aren’t expansive? Hell yes. So my demand of me is to be willing to see all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly and not judge me for it. And sometimes I will choose it anyway but at least I am willing to see it, be with it and not make myself wrong because of it. One step at a time.

Yes sometimes we buy something as a lie that sticks us and that isn’t fun. I am happy to choose something different, something that will work for me and I am betting that when I choose something that works better for me, in being more kind and caring with me, I will be more kind and caring with the world.So that is a demand I am making of me – to stop going into their world and find where they are right, but simply expand out my energy and be willing to be more me, to be more kind and caring with me. I wonder, where could you be more you, kind and caring with you?

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