“What does it take to step out and show up even in the face of judgment, in the face of people who would be much more comfortable if you were small, who would be much more comfortable if you were creating a life that didn’t challenge the beliefs that they have been raised with.” – Blossom Benedict Vanderpol, Stepping Out and Showing Up http://www.accessconsciousness.tv/video/1424
Most of us have grown up with the point of view that if we show the world who we really are, we will be judged, shut down and ridiculed. We developed a barrier and coping strategies to protect our bruised and battered egos and started to hide behind masks of what society calls acceptable, which essentially is being the same as everyone else. NEVER stand out, no matter what.
When I was eight years old, my teacher told my parents, that I was too shy and quiet and it wasn’t good for me. I was standing right there. My mom totally agreed with her. In that instant, I decided to become what they wanted me to be. I got good grades. I started to be more talkative, more outgoing.
I stopped being me.
It wasn’t until I was 27 years old that I realized how much of me I had tucked inside a deep corner of myself. I had done such a good job of hiding me that I couldn’t find me. So I went on a quest to find me. I searched everywhere: in my job, in my friends, in my husband and finally, living in India for 7 years with a guru. I thought surely, he will help me find me!
The me that I was looking for was buried under so many layers of judgments of what everyone told me I was and I bought all of it as true.
The thing I finally got was that no one was going to hand me ME to me. No one was going to claim WHAT I know, THAT I know, better than me. I realized it was time to stop waiting for permission to be me.
The excavating of me began with tools from Access Consciousness™ that actually started to chip away at the lies and judgment to reveal the real me, the kindness and the caring of me that is not done very often or very well in this world. I started to get the gift that I am, the contribution on this planet that I am, just for being me.
I started to learn about dropping barriers and the lie that judgment really is. I started to get that when I am willing to push my barriers down, not only am I free from the lie of judgment, but that those who are impelling the judgment at me then get to choose to sit in the muck of their judgment or let it go.
As long as I aligned and agreed with, or resisted and reacted to who and what they judged me to be, I was stuck the layers of lies and could not find me no matter how hard I searched or how far I traveled.
What happens when you are willing to push your barriers down? There is nothing for the judgment to grip. It’s just not real. When your barriers are down, the one throwing the judgment is stuck with the effect of the judgement. With my barriers down and awareness that judgment is not even real, I am me. And being me, with all my the kindness and caring gives a place where others can choose to receive it or not. But I no longer make myself wrong when others cannot receive my kindness. I no longer make myself wrong for the choices they make.
With barriers down, judgment is not real. There is no positive or negative. There is just me being me. If each of us got the gift that we each are when we allow ourselves to be who we really are, without the layers of lies we have bought for God knows how many lifetimes, when we truly be who we are, THAT will be the healing of this planet.
Imagine. What could you create if you knew judgment was a lie?